Music so jager-bombingly, neon-lightingly, muscle-clenchingly, euphorically TRASHY that we just have to listen. Don’t worry, we love it really, this is Culture or Trash after all, and we need time out too.
Listen and weep as we reep the glories of the commercial charts.
TRASHMUSIC#1: Train – Drive By
I’ve literally never heard anyone sound less sincere. I mean the forecast for any couple on the rocks isn’t great if the guy can’t even pinpoint the holiday destination his ex ran to. It’s not like she’s silenced herself – she’s on the bloody phone – he actually TELLS her how little he cares about her place of hiding:
“You moved to West LA” Bummer. “Or, New York” … ERM? “or Santa Fey” WHAT? NOOO? “or, wherever” QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION MARK?! “to get away from me”
Let’s face facts. Train singer Pat Monahan has NO clue where his ex has gone – and as the track goes on – he doesn’t say or do much to help his case.
With all the sincerity and forward-thinking verve of an X Factor winner contract, Monahan struts about Americana-tinged hilltop/street locations trying to rope his ex back in by singing about deja-vu and people that look ‘just like you” – wordplay as deep and meaningful as the heavily made over vocals, which sound more Britney and Will.i.am than yearn-y and ‘forgive me please!”
Sure, this isn’t a drive-by (iy-i-i-iy) and Monahan is probably bummed out. But I’m not sure he deserves to be forgiven. All this smiley sunshine-y romp leaves me unsettled – call me a cynic, but I’m not convinced these old boys of the pop rock circuit are ready for commitment just yet.
Watch and weep …